She is not: A BAD COOK
She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She does not: GET PMS
She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She does not have: A KILLER BODY
She is: TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

She is not: A BAD DRIVER
She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She is not a: PERFECT 10
She is: NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

She is not: EASY
She is: HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

She does not: HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is: ATHLETICALLY BIASED

You do not ask her: TO DANCE
You request a: PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE

She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She is not: COLD OR FRIGID
She is: THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She does not have: GREAT CLEAVAGE
Her breasts are: CENTRALLY LOCATED

She is not: A SCREAMER OR MOANER
She is: VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

She does not: SUN BATHE
She experiences: SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

She does not: CUT YOU OFF
She becomes: HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE

She does not have: BIG HAIR
She is: OVERLY AEROSOLED

She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH
She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

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